Patrick
Eoghan
Time seems to go by so incredibly fast. When did that begin to happen? I still remember when time seemed to be in such plentiful supply...when summers were endless. When did that change?
Where are we now though?
A hard question to answer. Personally, I feel that a lot of the times, I am still in some sort of a haze. Days go by, I do what I do and what needs to be done. I laugh, I have good times...life just drags me along with it and I could not say that I am living in doom and gloom all of the time...But...
There is an underlying sadness and pain that has become part of my life now that was not there before. Life does go on but after the initial shock and time following the funeral, this is the feeling that has moved into my life. Slowly, I am trying to learn how to live with that underlying pain. Sometimes, it hurts a lot, other times it is just a niggle but it is always there.
People always ask; "How are you?" and I am surprised how quickly the standard answer "Grand sure" seems to roll from my tongue. What else can you say? Aren't we "grand"...by and large? We are but these days that sense of loss and that pain, the longing for one more hug, the fear of forgetting, the realisation of "crap...this really did happen" is always there...Lurking behind each "brave" smile.
I don't think it is something that will ever go away.
I do not think it will ever hurt less.
I do think that we will get better at living with it.
But Christ...it does hurt.
