So, how has the return to the rat race been?
It's been 3 weeks since I rejoined the work force after pretty much a full year off. While I was absolutely dreading it, it actually has not been bad.
The mind is kept busy. You are in a mad routine and whereas of late I had perhaps too much time to ponder things which got me way down, I feel more balanced now. ... Tired out though. It takes time to get used to that level of business again...and having to be super organised.
What I said before about Patrick's death always being with me, still stands. It is and always will be but what I guess I mean is that there are times that trigger memories, feelings, images - very unpleasant ones. That does not mean though that this stays with you for hours...they might be just split seconds where you get a pang of sadness and then you carry on what you were doing.
What triggers this can be anything, something nice like a big flock of birds or something gut wrenching like an ambulance speeding past or news like those at the weekend when two little girls died while walking with their dad.You are reminded then of your own history and your heart breaks for them because you know what they are going through.
Really, going to work has forced my mind to stay busy and prevented it from wandering to dark places in my mind. That is a good thing.
It was a busy first week which ended in me doing the 8K Limerick Mini Marathon in UL. I am proud to say that I ran it in 50 mins and 15 secs. Never thought I would ever be a runner. When I took it up and struggled to keep going at times, I would tell myself that if Patrick could die all by himself, it should be a doddle for me to push on another half kilometer. That is how I gradually pushed on further and further.
Thanks Sproggy...looking forward to your help with next years Great Limerick Run.
Love ya lots!!!
