Thursday 13 September 2012

Two Faced

It is suicide awareness time at the moment.

It is heart breaking to hear of people (no matter what age), dying this way. It is upsetting to think that whilst there are people out there fighting to live, battling disease or perhaps the effects of accidents, there are people out there who cannot bear to continue living. People who think that their life it so bad or worthless, that there is only one way out.

And what seems to be the most recurring theme in a lot of those cases is that those who are left behind never saw it coming.

Our mental health is as important as our physical health. But while it is perfectly alright to see a doctor about the flu or a pain your stomach, it seems to be much harder to open up to anyone about what is going on in our heads.

Thankfully, I have never been seriously affected by mental health issues other than the usual ups and downs that everyone gets in life....

The death of our son presented a challenge to that particular track record. Somehow, (and I do not know how) we did manage to get through the days following his death and the funeral without medication of any kind and have not needed any since.

But that does not mean we just sail through the times when we are feeling especially down and sad. I have learned of myself that I am finding it extremely difficult to tell people when I am down or depressed. It sometimes seems so hard to get the words out and to admit that, no, you are not "grand". Eventually, I find a way and eventually, I usually get out of that dark place. But I can see how easily one can sink deeper and deeper.

Saying that you are "fine" seems to be the answer that pops out of your mouth when people ask how you are. Even if it is not the case. It is hard to admit to others when you are struggling. It is hard finding the words and it is hard saying them. But why?

Do we expect of ourselves to be able to deal with life and everything it throws at us 100% of the time?
Do we expect of ourselves to just be able to do it all by ourselves without any help?

Everyone has issues. Nobody's life is perfect all the time. We all need help getting through some of the more challenging times.

In my opinion, our mental health is not unlike our physical health. Both can take a battering at times. And it is not a sign of weakness or diminished mental capacity as some might view it. And it is a sign of strength on behalf of those who are able to tackle those issues and seek help.

The stigma needs to be taken away from mental health matters. It should be talked about openly and nobody should be looked down upon for admitting to be struggling.

We all know it is important to talk. Equally, it is important to listen and recognise the sometimes subtle request for help. Maybe in our fast paced, high tech world with so much emphasis on social networking, we just have to re-learn how to do both.