Thursday 28 July 2016

13 Miles of Reflection - Run Killarney Half Marathon

This past Saturday, we got to take part in the Killarney Half Marathon which takes you from Molls Gap down to Killarney with stunning views along the way.

We have always had a strong connection to this part of the world but even more so ever since we adopted our first sheep in Patrick's memory back on Easter Sunday 2011. Sproggy the sheep died from pneumonia this spring and we ended up adopting two more and last we heard both Kerry and Clare are thriving.

The day started early and wet but conditions improved and the route down the mountain was absolutely stunning. Having driven this road so many times before, it was a privilege to run/walk it and get to appreciate its amazing scenery.


13 Miles turned out to be a long time. Time to get lost in ones thoughts as well as take in the views and curse the midges. I thought about Patrick, the blessing that is Eoghan, our Kerry sheep and the loss of now two babies in early pregnancy. Every time I look at a positive pregnancy test I cannot help but immediately figure out the estimated due date and from there it snowballs. A spring baby; will it be a boy or a girl; wonder who he/she will look like; Eoghan will be so happy to become a big brother; cannot wait to tell him.

All these random thoughts start entering your head and you find yourself mapping out this potential little life. Then, without much ado, the universe decides otherwise. God only knows why. Is it you? Are your eggs past their sell by date? Is it a another fluke? Natures screw-up? Who knows. I know this was just a cluster of cells trying to become something but to us it was our baby; right from the moment that second line appeared. A baby with a million possibilities ahead of him or her.

Baby loss is a funny thing. It continues to be rarely spoken about and the phrase "I'm sorry for loss." is still one that few will be offered in that situation. I choose to speak up - because I feel these little beings deserve to be remembered and their parents loss likewise deserves to be acknowledged. They did exist, no matter how briefly. Their loss is felt by us, their parents. We are strong. We won't need constant minding or hand-holding or will cry into our Cheerios morning after morning for the rest of our lives. We carry on living and enjoying life but will always hold a special place in our hearts for all our children; those here on earth and those who shine as stars.

It does not take much to acknowledge such a loss... A card, a bunch of flowers, an offer to babysit so the couple can have some alone time, a simple "I am sorry, this sucks." or suggestion to go out and get absolutely (umn, responsibly) pickled. Simple things but things that make a couple feel cared about and less alone at a lonely time. Even if some cannot find words, their actions will help and be much appreciated.

We're grateful to have people around us who made us feel that way. We know nobody can fix these things for us but all the little gestures of compassion and care we have received have made us feel a million times better.


I am also grateful that I was able to go through with the run as it had only been a week since we lost that little bean. It was a welcome change of scenery and a good way of acknowledging him/her as well as our loss. A time for Pat and I to reflect, spend time together and heal (with a little help from the Irish Whiskey Experience in Killarney!).

I guess there are less tiring ways of doing that than a half marathon down a Kerry mountain but where is the challenge in that? :)