Tuesday 12 February 2013

Sometimes, there is no sense


When you lose a loved one, no matter what age they are or what relation to you, you often find yourself trying to somehow make sense of their passing.
If they were ill, we take comfort that now they are at peace. If they were old, we take comfort in them having lived a long, fulfilled life. If it was sudden, we tell ourselves that at least there was no great suffering. I think we cling on to those thoughts because they make it all feel a little less awful and desperate.
When Patrick died, we too clung on to this. Knowing he just slipped away in his sleep brought some comfort. He did not suffer. We did not have to watch him fade. He just went to sleep.

While this does not take away from the sense of loss we feel and how much we miss him in our lives, it makes living with “it” that bit more manageable ... at least for me.
As the 20th anniversary of little Jamie Bulgers death approaches later this month, my heart goes out to his parents and family and those who lost children through violence and crime.
How do you live with knowing what was done to your child and how they died without going insane? How do you keep going without the shock, grief, anger and horror overwhelming and even consuming you?
Thinking about it makes me imcredibly sad and I hope that Jamie is at peace and feeling loved and cherished where he is now.
My thoughts are very much with his family at this time. Let Jamie never be forgotten and let people remember him and speak of him more than of those who are responsible for his death.